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Elizabeth H. Cottrell's avatar

We so often forget what a large role body language plays in our communication—and how its absence on the phone or even on Zoom can skew communication. Thank you for this wonderful, practical guidance.

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Lisa Lee Mills's avatar

Great reminder! Even walking into a room with my phone in hand, I realize it sends a message that I'm not fully "open" so I'm learning to turn it off and tuck it in my handbag. I practice this with family members - and my grown children - as well. I want them to know they have my full attention and I'm interested in what they are saying.

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Ian Hoyman's avatar

Once, when I was a teenager, my girlfriend pointed out to me that she could tell I was stressed. I asked her how she knew, and she told me that I was putting my finger on my lip. I learnt from her that this is a stress-relief thing humans do, and I avoid doing it if I don't want to give off that impression. I would assume that kisses are comforting for the same reason: pressure on the lips, which causes stress relief.

A few tricks I've learnt in body language:

— Keep a chest-to-chest stance. Don't just look at the person, but stand directly parallel to them.

— Avoid pointing your feet away, as that signals that you want to leave.

— Avoid boxing someone into a corner; always give space for the person to exit. This is a natural safety instinct, and it especially applies to men speaking to women.

— Try looking at one eye rather than both at once. Switching between the two helps, but if this doesn't come naturally, don't overthink it.

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Lisa Lee Mills's avatar

How interesting that you compare kissing to a finger on one's lip. I definitely see the comfort correlation of each! Thank you for this perspective.

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Ian Hoyman's avatar

You're welcome! Thank you for the kind reply.

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