Etiquette Throwback 1922: Emily Post, Etiquette, Announcement of Engagement
With the holidays being the start of engagement season, we thought we'd jump back to Emily's 1922 advice for engaged couples
Emily Post’s Etiquette, 1922, Announcement of Engagement
From Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve, many couples choose this time when family and friends are conveniently gathered to get engaged and share the news in person with loved ones. Here’s a look at what advice Emily was giving in 1922 to engaged couples. This section is preceded by sections like First Duty of the Accepted Suitor, The Approved Engagement, His Parents Call on Hers, The Engagement Ring, and Before Announcement. While times have certainly changed, it’s fun to see what was expected over 100 years ago.
*Please note that the grammar and spelling in the following excerpt follow 20th-century standards.
CHAPTER XX
Engagements
ANNOUNCEMENT OF ENGAGEMENT
Pg 304-305
On the evening before the day of the announcement, the bride's mother either sends a note, or has some one call the various daily papers by telephone, and says: "I am speaking for Mrs. John Huntington Smith. Mr. and Mrs. Smith are announcing the engagement of their daughter, Mary, to Mr. James Smartlington, son of Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Brown Smartlington, of 2000 Arcade Avenue."
If either the Huntington Smiths or the Arthur Smartlingtons are socially prominent, reporters will be sent to get further information. Photographs and details, such as entertainments to be given, or plans for the wedding, will probably be asked for. The prejudices of old-fashioned people against giving personal news to papers is rapidly being overcome and not even the most conservative any longer object to a dignified statement of facts, such as Mrs. Smith's telephone message.
It is now considered entirely good form to give photographs to magazines and newspapers, but one should never send them unless specially requested.
On the eve of the announcement, a dinner is sometimes given by the young girl's parents, and the news is told by her father, who at about salad course or dessert, proposes the health of his daughter and future son-in-law.
Emily, once again, highlights the preferences of the past while balancing them with the realities of how couples and families were handling the issue at the time. With a surprisingly small amount of page space, Emily manages to set forth the expectation that the bride’s mother, either directly or through someone, reach out to the local publications and inform them of the engagement. With one sample script she has provided all the information needed and the order in which to deliver it. Almost as a footnote, she mentions the idea of a dinner where the host would make the announcement through a toast (“proposing the health”) to the happy couple. All the info is there, and we - as we are currently writing the Wedding Etiquette book - applaud Emily for her ability to delivery it so succinctly.
We hope you’ve enjoyed this throwback. What’s your engagement story? We’d love to hear how you handled your engagement announcement! Tell us in the comments, and if you can’t post here, head over to the Monday post, where the comment thread is open to all.
The Perfect Engagement Gift
Signed copies of Emily Post’s Etiquette - The Centennial Edition and Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette, 6th edition are available now and make an excellent gift for newly engaged couples! And pair well with our NEW TRIVIA GAME: Mind Your Manners. Get your copy today from the fine folks at Bridgeside Books!
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All our best,
Lizzie and Dan
The Perfect Engagement Gift
Signed copies of Emily Post’s Etiquette - The Centennial Edition and Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette, 6th edition are available now and make an excellent gift for newly engaged couples! And pair well with our NEW TRIVIA GAME: Mind Your Manners. Get your copy today from the fine folks at at Bridgeside Books!