Etiquette Throwback 1922: Emily Post, Etiquette, The Marriage Ceremony
Emily's 1922 take on the marriage ceremony.
Etiquette, 1922, The Marriage Ceremony
While it may seem like the “traditional” Christian wedding ceremony hasn’t changed much in the last century, this look back at Emily’s 1922 edition shares some interesting details that aren’t found in our books today.
*Please note that the grammar and spelling in the following excerpt follow 20th-century standards.
CHAPTER XXII
THE DAY OF THE WEDDING
The Marriage Ceremony
Pg 361-362
A soloist or the choir then sings while the clergyman slowly ascends to the altar, before which the marriage is performed. The bride and groom follow slowly, the fingers of her right hand on his left arm.
The maid of honor, or else the first bridesmaid, moves out of line and follows on the left hand side until she stands immediately below the bride. The best man takes the same position exactly on the right behind the groom. At the termination of the anthem, the bride hands her bouquet to the maid of honor (or her prayer-book to the clergyman) and the bride and groom plight their troth.
When it is time for the ring, the best man produces it from his pocket. If in the handling from best man to groom, to clergyman, to groom again, and finally to the bride's finger, it should slip and fall, the best man must pick it up if he can without searching; if not, he quietly produces the duplicate which all careful best men carry in the other waistcoat pocket, and the ceremony proceeds. The lost ring—or the unused extra one—is returned to the jeweler's next day. Which ring, under the circumstances, the bride keeps, is a question as hard to answer as that of the Lady or the Tiger. Would she prefer the substitute ring that was actually the one she was married with? Or the one her husband bought and had marked for her? Or would she prefer not to have a substitute ring and have the whole wedding party on their knees searching? She alone can decide. Fortunately, even if the clergyman is very old and his hand shaky, a substitute is seldom necessary.
The wedding ring must not be put above the engagement ring. On her wedding day a bride either leaves her engagement ring at home when she goes to church or wears it on her right hand.
Ever surprising us, Emily does not describe much about what is said during the marriage ceremony and instead focuses on the actions taken during it. How a bride holds the groom’s arm as they ascend the steps (or step) toward the altar. Where and when the maid of honor and best man take their places. And how the best man, groom, and clergy interact with the ring(s).
New to us was the idea of having two rings, a replica or spare that could be used if the ring is dropped or misplaced. While we don’t hear of this custom often today, it’s interesting to see that it is included when, in the end, it’s the bride’s choice whether they move forward with the spare or if she has everyone on their hands and knees searching for it.
We hope you’ve enjoyed this throwback to wedding ceremonies of the 1920s. We love stepping back in time with you to explore the etiquette of bygone eras. Let us know your thoughts about wedding ceremonies today. If you’ve been married, what were the customs you observed around the exchange of vows and the wearing of rings? Can’t post here? Sign up for a subscription today, or post on the Monday Podcast comment thread.
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