Etiquette Today: Top Table Manners Tips
This week we'll take a look at our top table manners tips for dining confidently with others.
Top Table Manners Tips
When we are dining with others whether, with our family, our friends, or for business, we can gain confidence and make it a more pleasant experience for all by following some classic (as well as modern) etiquette advice. Here are ten tips that can make dining a more enjoyable experience for all.
Wash up and come to the table clean and ready to participate in the conversation and the meal. Definitely avoid grooming or attending to hygiene at the table, instead take care of it before you sit down, or if something comes up during the meal, excuse yourself to the restroom.
When you sit down, set your napkin in your lap and remember to use it throughout the meal.
Keep your smartphone off the table and set it to silent or vibrate. Wait to check calls and texts or play games or check the news, until you are finished with the meal and away from the table.
Holding your utensils correctly helps you to have the most control over them. Your knife goes in your dominant hand and your fork in the other. While grips may vary a bit, avoid using a whole fist to hold your fork while you cut, you give up too much control and food could easily end up sliding off the plate (we’ve seen it happen!) A confident, more precise grip (like the one most people use to hold a pen or pencil) should be good for any type of food.
Chew with your mouth closed if you are able to. This is one of the biggest complaints we hear about on first dates, when meeting the parents, and at business meals. These are the situations people have said that if another person shows the food that’s in their mouth it can end up being a deal breaker for them. If you are physically not able to chew with your mouth closed, do your best to minimize exposure to others, and you can also let folks know, “I chew a certain way and it means my mouth is often open, I like to let folks know ahead of time to expect it.”
Wait until you’re finished chewing and have swallowed the food in your mouth to take a sip of your drink. Take small sips when drinking either directly from a glass or when using a straw. (Speaking of straw, kids, no bubbles at the table.) Avoid up-ending your glass to get every last drop, and be sure to not chug your drink but to sip it, with small sips, not big gulps.
Pace yourself with fellow diners. If you’re slower, try talking less and eating while others are speaking. If you’re fast, slow down by cutting only one piece of food at a time and by pausing your eating while you listen to others.
Avoid slouching and keep your elbows off the table while eating (according to Emily Post herself, it is okay to prop your elbows on the table while conversing between courses or once you are finished).
Instead of reaching across the table for something, ask for it to be passed to you. And when passing dishes, keep things moving in one direction (often passing to the right is easiest since most diners are right-handed, this makes it easier for diners to serve themselves from the dishes circulating the table.)
When you’ve finished the course you’re eating (as well as at the end of the meal) place your utensils so that the handles rest on what would be the number 4 if your plate was a clock face. (Heads of the utensils should point toward the number 10.) This is a signal that you are finished with the dish and not just resting between bites.
While there are lots of details that you can discover about table manners these ten tips will steer you in the right direction, especially when you have a meal where you want to impress others at the table. While it’s folded into tip number one, we can’t reiterate enough how much being present, and having a positive (or at least engaged) attitude at the table will go a long way to creating a great experience at the table with others.
Interested more in table manners, dining etiquette, the history of table manners, or details about utensils? Check out these two amazing books that we love:
The Rituals of Dinner by Margaret Visser
The Art of The Table by Suzanne von Drachenfels
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That’s it for today, thank you for spending some time with us at Emily Post! Keep an eye out for the Saturday Sip coming next.
Until then!