Etiquette Today: Holiday Tipping
It's not too late to thank the service people in your life this year with a holiday tip.
Holiday Tipping
At Emily Post, we like to say that holiday tipping is really holiday thanking. It’s a tradition at the end of the year to say thank you to the service people in our lives, some whom we never see and others we engage with weekly or even daily. Holiday tips can come in the form of cash or gifts (and sometimes both!), but we always suggest including a card and, when possible, delivering the tip or gift in person. Let’s look at some of the guidelines to help you tip well this holiday season.
Your List + Your Budget
Just like with holiday gift giving, your holiday tipping list will be your own, and what you choose to give is often dictated by your budget. It is okay to build your list up over time, and each year may be a little different. Whether this is your first time participating in holiday tipping or if it’s been a tradition for you for years, each year, you can look at your own list of service providers to determine who you’d like to give a holiday tip to. It may vary year to year and certainly, as the services you engage in come and go in your life. If you’re looking for a way to start your list or prioritize it, start by thinking of the services that you feel you couldn’t have lived without. For example, many people put their regular babysitter at the top of their list. Those who live in apartment buildings with staff like doormen, superintendents, and front desk attendants often say these are the folks that go to the top of their lists.
Once you have your list, take a look at your budget and see what is possible for you. It is not uncommon for your budget to vary a bit from year to year, and that’s okay. Do what you can and feel really good about it! Often, we worry so much that we might not be able to give what we think someone would expect, or maybe in these tough economic times, you can’t give what you gave last year, but more often, the person receiving a holiday tip isn’t judging it, but appreciating not just the actual tip or gift but the sentiment and thoughtfulness behind it. Have confidence in what you can do when it comes to holiday tipping.
Who To Give To and What To Tip or Gift
Here is a list of some of the most common positions we hear about people giving holiday tips to this time of year and some notes about what to give. Remember, you can always adjust to fit your budget; these are simply suggestions. For many of these folks, we suggest an “up to” amount - but yes, you can always give more if that’s an option for you. Treats and small gifts are often good alternatives if you can’t do a cash gift in the amount ranges suggested below.
Building Doorman (person) $20-100+ per doorman; amounts will vary based on the city, building, and your budget.
Building Elevator Operator - $20-50 per operator; amounts will vary based on the city, building, and your budget.
Building Superintendent (person) - $20-100+ per doorman; amounts will vary based on the city, building, and your budget.
Regular Babysitter or Nanny - For a babysitter, up to the cost of one instance of service and or a gift. For some families, a gift is more personal; for others, they feel great about giving cash. Do what’s best for you. For a nanny, up to the cost of a week’s (we’ve even heard of people getting a month’s) worth of pay and a gift from your child.
Regular Massage Therapist/Hair Stylist - Up to the cost of one instance of service or a gift for those you see regularly.
Personal Trainer - Up to the cost of one instance of service and or a gift.
Regular House Cleaner - Up to the cost of one instance of service and/or a gift.
Garbage Collectors - $10-20 per crew member, or a gift that can be shared among the crews and office staff.
A Few Professions to Note
There are a few professions that have parameters around what employees are allowed to accept.
U.S. Postal Carrier - The United States Postal Service has strict guidelines around what carriers are allowed to accept. Mail carriers working for the United States Postal Service are allowed to accept the following items during the holiday season:
Snacks and beverages or perishable gifts that are not part of a meal.
Small gifts that have little intrinsic value (travel mugs, hand warmers, etc…) and are clearly no more than $20 in value.
Perishable items clearly worth more (large fruit baskets or cookie tins) must be shared with the entire branch.
Mail carriers working for the United States Postal Service may not accept the following:
Cash gifts, checks, gift cards, or any other form of currency.
Teachers - For ethical reasons, cash and elaborate or expensive gifts can put teachers in a very difficult situation. Check with your school about its gifting policy and see if they have any suggestions. We can appreciate that many teachers have written to us saying, “Please, no more mugs or homemade treats!!!!” Often, the biggest request we hear from teachers is for classroom items (or gift cards to stores that carry them, if gift cards are allowed) since so many of those end up being out-of-pocket expenses for teachers. Regardless of what you choose, a note from your child is very thoughtful. Take note that daycare providers (sometimes called teachers as well) fall into a different category, as they do not pass or graduate kids from daycare, and often it’s a private company, it’s okay to give a cash tip and or a gift to your children’s daycare providers.
Residential Staff and In-Home Nurses or Caregivers - Ask the organization; some allow cash gifts, and others do not. If there is a whole team of people assisting you or a loved one, often a gift that can be shared by the group is appreciated.
Don’t Forget a Card
We find the best way to give your holiday tip or gift is with a card. Not only does it help to convey your gratitude, but it’s also a chance to wish the person (or team) well, which is certainly in the holiday spirit. Here is some sample language, of course, adjust it to sound like you!
“Dear Annabelle,
Thank you so much for all your wonderful service throughout the year. It is always such a joy to know that Basil, Manuel, Polly, and Cybil are getting to see their favorite friend for a midday trip to the dog park. I am so grateful to you for how well you care for them. I hope you enjoy the holidays, and I wish you the very best in the New Year!
All our best,
Sean, Basil, Manuel, Polly, and Cybil”
We hope this article has inspired you to think about the service people in your life and how you might be able to say thank you as the year comes to an end.
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As the holidays come to a close and the New Year looms bright, we hope you find yourself feeling a sense of appreciation for what has been, a feeling of being at peace with what is, and that you are filled with hope for the possibility of wonderful things to come. Any big New Year’s Eve plans for you this year? Community Members, leave tell us in the comments below. Free subscribers, remember the Monday post has a comment thread open to all, so please join us there!
Keep an eye out for the Saturday Sip; it’s coming up next!
Until then,
Lizzie and Dan
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