Etiquette Today: Holiday Gift Giving
We break down how to approach gift giving with confidence and ease this holiday season.
Holiday Gift Giving
The holiday season is filled with opportunities to give gifts. There is something delightfully fulfilling about picking out a present, wrapping it up, and seeing the joy and appreciation the recipient gets from receiving it. Yet, over the nearly 10 years that the Awesome Etiquette podcast has been running, we’ve received hundreds of questions about concerned friends, family, and co-workers wanting to know how to handle gift-giving well during a heck holiday season. We care about how we give and receive gifts and want it to be a joyous and good moment (appropriate, too!) Today’s Etiquette Today article is sponsored by Walgreens, who conducted a holiday gift-giving survey with some very interesting results! Let’s look at how to give gifts well so we can be at our best this holiday season.
Your List + Your Budget
Your list and how much you spend on gifts (or the materials to make them) are entirely up to you. For some people, their budget might be the place to start, with other decisions coming next; for others, their list of people, what they plan on gifting, and often, the festivities they participate in will come first, and thinking about budgeting flows from there. Whichever way you determine your list and budget, the point is that it’s personal to you.
Some people think that if they have given a gift to someone once, they must gift to this person forever more. That is not true, at least from an etiquette perspective. While many of us will have people we give gifts to or exchange gifts with throughout our entire lives, it’s okay for others to come and go from our lists over the years. It’s fluid. (We’ll talk more below about how to handle it gracefully when you receive a gift from someone but they weren’t on your list of people to give to.)
What To Pick
One of the most asked questions at Emily Post is what should I get for a host, my partner, my new brother-in-law, my boyfriend’s kids…and our answer is always the same. Get people gifts that relate to things they are interested in or appreciate. Golfers love golf balls and will use them. Coffee fanatics (ahem, Dan!) love coffee and coffee accouterment.
Don’t fall prey to the pressures of perfection. This gift, this year, doesn’t have to be the best, brightest, or most amazing gift the person ever received (or that you have given) for them to appreciate it. We can often get so wrapped up in making something amazing that we over-stress, over-worry, and sometimes over-extend ourselves. Keeping it simple doesn’t mean something isn’t special or won’t be appreciated.
Another tactic that has served many folks well is choosing something you love that the receiver would also appreciate. “Jill, I always use this pan and think about how great it is when I cook with it, so I thought it would be the perfect thing for you in your new apartment.”
No matter how you go about it, once you’ve chosen something, feel confident in your choice and present it with genuine enthusiasm to the person receiving it.
Timing
While we do say that the holidays are a season, and many people celebrate before or after a specific holiday’s week or day when schedules require it, it’s nice to try and get gifts to folks in a timely manner. It may be a running joke that Uncle Frankie’s annual tub of kettle corn arrives in mid-January each year, but don’t let the hectic holiday season stop you from getting those last-minute gifts and getting them in time to celebrate with friends and family. You’re certainly not alone when it comes to last-minute gift giving; a new Walgreens Holiday Gift Giving survey reports that 83% of folks have found themselves getting a gift for someone at the very last minute.
Remember, last minute and convenience don’t have to mean sacrificing quality or personalization. Walgreens has dozens of photo gifts available for same-day pickup that can be personalized with your own photos. (In honor of Emily Post’s love of puzzles, we had to highlight their photo puzzle option. Lizzie went bonkers and did puzzles for everyone this year!)
With Walgreens' 12 Days of Deals, customers can save even more with markdowns on toys and merchandise that are perfect for holiday season necessities, stocking stuffers, or gifts. Customers can also shop the deals from home with Walgreens' 1-hour Delivery and 30-minute Pickup.
Presenting The Present
Most of us would tell anyone giving us a gift that the wrappings do not matter; yet, it cannot be denied that presenting a gift well makes a great impression. Whether shiny paper and ribbons or classic brown wrapping and twine, a nicely wrapped or packaged gift is a thoughtful way to present your present. This small bit of effort is well worth it.
Do not forget a card. It may seem like extra, especially if you are handing the gift straight to the person for them to open right away; however, a card - or even a gift tag - is a finishing touch that creates a space for you to include some lovely sentiment even if it’s simply, “To Jonah, love Aunt Edna.”
When You Don’t Have a Gift In Return
One of Americans’ biggest holiday fears is that we will be presented with a gift and not have one to give in return. The Walgreens survey showed that 73% of us receive a gift from someone for whom we don’t have a gift to give in return. That’s how common this “awkward” moment is.
Let us relieve the awkwardness by saying that not only is this scenario common, but it’s also not rude. It’s one thing if you’ve agreed to participate in a gift exchange (with your family, friends, or colleagues) and you don’t bring a gift or get one for the person or people you were exchanging with. But if someone gave you a gift to spread cheer and because they were being thoughtful, even without one in return, the polite thing to do is to say, “Thank you!” Don’t focus on your lack of a gift for them. Instead, focus on their generosity toward you.
While it’s nice if this moment inspires you to get something for the other person, it does not have to - especially if it’s not in your means to do so. And there’s no need to come up with a lie to make yourself feel better, “Oh, I left it on the counter at home,” it is unnecessary to buy yourself time.
We hope exploring some of the ins and outs of giving gifts and the etiquette around doing it well helps you feel confident as you head out to parties and gatherings to celebrate this holiday season.
SIGNED COPIES ARE AVAILABLE Emily Post’s Etiquette - The Centennial Edition is available this holiday season, and they make an excellent gift for friends and family! Order your copy(ies) today from Bridgeside Books - our local, woman-owned business partner for all our signed books!
WAYS TO HELP It takes a lot to keep Emily Post Etiquette going today, and our small team is always excited when folks like you, our audience, choose to support our efforts. A paid subscription to this publication comes with an ad-free version of the podcast and a bonus question weekly, as well as $50 to spend on digital products in our store.
If a paid subscription doesn’t work for you now, please share this post with friends and family. Your support in spreading the word is a great help to our team! Thank you for taking the time to do so.
Thank you for spending some of your day with us. And a big thank you to Walgreens for partnering with Emily Post this holiday season! Are you a last-minute shopper, or do you get everything done early? Community Members, leave your thoughts in the comments below. Free subscribers, remember the Monday post has a comment thread open to all, so please join us there!
Keep an eye out for the Saturday Sip; it’s coming up next!
Until then,
Lizzie and Dan
Are you looking for a great employee benefit or member gift? Look no further than a subscription to our Substack. Group subscriptions are 20% off and come with $50 in credit to spend on our digital downloads for each person you sign up. Sign up your group today!