Etiquette Today: Holiday Cards
It might seem early but now's the time to make decisions so that you can get your holiday cards out next month.
Holiday Cards
Holiday cards are a wonderful part of the holiday season. Who doesn’t love getting a little something special in the mail that isn’t a bill or a junk mail flyer? With warm wishes from friends and sometimes even smiling faces, this is a holiday tradition that we are glad to see has stood the test of time. Even with all of our digital communication options, it’s beautiful to see the joy these cards still bring.
However, even with all that joy and good cheer, it can be hard to know where to start, and sometimes, once you begin, it can be hard to know where to stop when it comes to sending holiday cards. Let’s look at some of the basics so you can get a handle on your holiday cards.
Different Styles
There are lots of different styles of holiday cards to choose from. From fun and funky to beautifully elegant - the options are really endless. Some cards will have messages on them already, and others leave room for you to craft your own. Either is okay. There is also the option to make your cards whether you choose the DIY handmade approach (break out the glitter!) or use an online service to upload photos or images that resonate with you and choose greetings and a custom sign-off that “sounds” like you, too.
Your card can be as simple or in-depth as you like. Some people choose just a simple greeting and then a closing and signature. Others write a yearly update of what’s been going on in their life/lives. Regarding the newsletter version, we are big fans of keeping it upbeat and brief. It’s also important not to come across as bragging. Sharing a moment you’re proud of is great. But how you do it will make a difference in how it’s received. “Jason got into all of the top 10 schools that he applied to (that includes Harvard, M.I.T, Princeton, UC Berkley Stanford, and Colombia!) likely because of his PERFECT 1600 on his SATs and all the extracurricular activities he’s involved in.” or “Great year for me, not only did I get a promotion with extra benefits, but I also scored a bonus the size of my sister’s kids’ college tuition. Happy New Year!” is not an inviting and exciting message for others to read - even if they are happy for you. Instead, try something like: “We are so proud of Jason for his academic achievements this year; he’s gotten into college, and we can’t wait to hear what school he chooses to attend next fall!” or “This was an exciting year both personally and professionally. I’m pleased to share that I got a promotion that I am really thrilled about!”
You can switch up your styles year to year. Some years, you might opt for buying pre-made cards; other years, you might make a project out of hand-decorating your cards; and still other years, you might choose to get them printed up from one of the big sites or (our favorite) your local stationery store. Let your inspiration lead you.
Your List
Your list can be as big or small as you’d like. No rule of etiquette says once you’ve sent a card to someone, you have to send one to them every year (forever.) No. Each year, you get to determine a) if you will send cards at all and b) who will be on your list this year.
While the eras of the social diary or, later on, the Rolodex may be mainly over, the tradition of keeping a social contacts list lives on. Beyond the contacts stored in phones and on the cloud, many people start a list and keep it on some form of a spreadsheet that also grows or changes over time.
Some years, you might send an extensive list; other years, you might dial it back. It really depends on how you’d like to handle holiday cards year to year.
And remember, you do not have to send cards every year. While it’s a lovely tradition, you are not setting yourself up to commit to holiday cards annually for life. If you can do it this year, great! If you can’t, don’t sweat it. You don’t even need to apologize when you run into friends and family.
Reciprocal?
It’s really wonderful to receive cards from others. However, this shouldn’t make you feel bad if you make a friend’s holiday card send-out list but they don’t make yours. We each have our own approach to holiday cards, plus our own time and budget to manage during the holiday season. For this reason, no one should be using whether or not they received a holiday card as a judgment on or indication of the status of a relationship.
If you send a card to a friend and do not receive one in return, it’s important not to take this too personally. For all the reasons we listed above and the fact that things do sometimes go missing - ahem, thinking of all of us who have found an unmailed thank-you note in a purse pocket, under a car seat, or behind a desk at one point or another, it’s best not to assume why you did or didn’t make someone’s list. Instead, think of holiday cards as the small joy they are meant to be: it’s great when you get one, but it shouldn’t bring you down if you don’t.
When To Send?
This is really up to you and your schedule and the type of card you’re sending, but try to time it so the card arrives ahead of the holiday you are celebrating. Happy New Year cards are great because they are non-denominational and apply to everyone. Plus, they can be sent the latest in the holiday season, leaving you more time to focus on December’s holiday hubbub. But just because a Happy New Year card is a great and inclusive option, it shouldn’t stop you from sending cards related to religious holidays that you celebrate. Or that you know a friend celebrates. We always say this is more of a season than one specific holiday. Worried about sending it late? Don’t be. Even if you miss the mark a little bit on timing, the sentiment will still be warm and welcoming when the card is received.
SIGNED COPIES ARE AVAILABLE Emily Post’s Etiquette - The Centennial Edition is available this holiday season, and they make an excellent gift for friends and family! Order your copy(ies) today from Bridgeside Books - our local, woman-owned business partner for all our signed books!
A Gift For You!
With Thanksgiving next week, we thought we’d continue our gifts to you this season with a Party Prep Timeline countdown worksheet. Happy planning!
Thank you for spending some of your day with us. How’s your holiday planning going so far? Community Members, leave your thoughts in the comments below. Free subscribers, remember the Monday post has a comment thread open to all, so please share your comments there!
Keep an eye out for the Saturday Sip; it’s coming up next!
Until then,
Lizzie and Dan
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