Etiquette Today: Great Greetings
Great greetings start everyone off on the right foot, whether it's a first-time meeting or saying, "Good morning," to those in your household or at work.
“A handshake often creates a feeling of liking or of irritation between two strangers. Who does not dislike a ‘boneless’ hand extended as though it were a spray of sea-weed, or a miniature boiled pudding? It is equally annoying to have one’s hand clutched aloft in grotesque affectation and shaken violently sideways, as though it were being used to clean a spot out of the atmosphere.”
- Emily Post, ETIQUETTE, 1922
Hello! Acknowledgment is one of the most basic ways that we can display good etiquette. It is the first step in being aware of others and our impact on them. Enhancing our acknowledgment of someone else with words and gestures make for the basics of greeting each other well.
CASUAL GREETINGS:
Hey! Hi! Hello. What’s up? Hey there. Hey girl hey! Yo. How’s it going? What’s new? Morning/Afternoon/Evening.
FORMAL GREETINGS:
How do you do? Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Hello.
When we are with most family and friends going about our everyday lives, casual greetings are perfectly appropriate. We’re more likely to use the lingo of the day with peers than with parents or grandparents, (though some older generations easily adopt trends.) With those we don’t know as well, those who are senior to us socially, and when we are in professional settings we’re more likely to use formal greetings. Saying “Good afternoon” as you approach a receptionist at the help desk or a boss in the office common areas.
Think about whether your goal is to convey confidence and respect, or welcome and friendliness. And there’s no reason all four can’t be present in your greeting, but it can help to consider who should receive the formal you, and who you can be your casual self around.
When it comes to gestures of greetings we have facing someone, eye contact, the smile, the nod, the hat tip, the wave, the handshake, the fist bump, the high five, the hug, and the cheek kiss.
The nod and the handshake have the potential to be the most serious and formal, with the wave, fist bump, and high five being casual and the hug and the cheek kiss being the most intimate. You really want to think about the appropriate gesture for the occasion and your connection to the other person. In business, unless your industry or the local area is known for hugs and kisses (think parts of Europe or South America), the handshake is the most appropriate greeting with either a bow of the head or a slight wave for those who cannot shake hands or when social distancing measures are in place.
Here are the steps for a great handshake:
With a confident approach, you can convey welcome and respect with a great handshake.
Stand and make eye contact. Whenever possible stand up so that you and the person you are shaking hands with are at eye level with one another. This helps put you both on equal footing. Giving someone your attention is important and making eye contact has always been a strong sign of trust and respect. If you have trouble making or maintaining eye contact, do your best to keep your gaze aimed at the other person’s face and make sure your face is directed toward theirs. Looking at the mouth or the bridge of the nose can be an alternative to eye contact.
Smile. Having a friendly or respectful (or a respectfully friendly) expression is helpful in creating a welcoming atmosphere during the handshake.
Your grip. Clasp your hand with the other person’s hand, crook of the thumb to crook of the thumb, wrapping your hand around theirs. You want to use about the amount of pressure in your grip that you’d use to turn a door knob easily. Too hard and your bone-crushing shake will leave too lasting an impression. Too weak and you’ll give the impression that you’re not invested or interested in the greeting—no limp fish handshakes. Avoid putting your other hand on top of the clasped hands, on the other person’s forearm, upper arm, shoulder, or worse hip.
The shake. Shake your hand and theirs up and down two, or three times. That’s all it takes!
Let go. Much like the too-short handshake, a handshake that goes beyond three shakes can start to feel too long. Letting go is the important last step to a great handshake!
SIGNED COPIES MAKE EXCELLENT GIFTS
A signed copy of our latest edition, Emily Post’s Etiquette - The Centennial Edition, makes for an excellent gift, get yours now to celebrate a newly engaged couple, the graduate in your life, or your favorite etiquette enthusiast’s birthday! Signed copies are available through Bridgeside Books, our local Vermont bookshop. Order today!
That’s it for now, we hope you enjoyed this look into some very classic everyday etiquette. Just think of the positive impact we can have if we start off on the right foot with good greetings. If it’s inspired you tell us about it in the comments! Have a question about greetings? Ask it in the comments! We (and your fellow community members) want to hear your thoughts! Next up is the Saturday Sip, keep an eye out for it!
Until next time!
Lizzie and Dan,