Etiquette Today: Fork or Fingers
With all the delicious foods we can eat by hand, let these tips help you decide when to do it.
Fork or Fingers
While many cultures eat with their hands regularly during a meal, in America when we are seated at a table with others we often are using a fork and knife. But that’s not to say we don’t eat plenty of meals, or individual items, with our hands. While during casual meals it’s not uncommon, the more formal our dining experience the less likely we are to use our hands.
Sandwiches, pizza, ribs, muffins, tacos… there are many foods that are finger friendly. And of course, others that aren’t: Stew, trifle, salad, pasta dishes… And lots of foods can fall into both categories. Pizza at a buddy’s place might be eaten by hand even just standing around the kitchen. Whereas pizza at a restaurant, when it isn’t the main item on the menu, has us at Emily Post recommending a fork.
When the formality might be a little fuzzy, a casual event but with co-workers and clients. Or a semi-formal wedding serving casual fair. You can look at your table setting to see what utensils have been set. This can be a clue as to what’s expected of you (or available to you.) If this doesn’t help clarify the course of action for you, watch your host and take your cue from them.
Here’s a list of foods and a breakdown of when to go for it with your fingers and when to pick up your fork. Remember if any of these items show up in a formal setting, stick with using your utensils, unless you see your host encouraging fingers or leading the way.
TACOS - Fingers for the majority of it, a fork for the bits that fall out of it onto your plate.
PIZZA - If you can easily pick up a slice without the toppings falling or the slice falling apart, fingers. If it’s going to be messy, use a fork and knife.
SANDWICHES - Cold sandwiches are always eaten with the fingers. And this is one food that on occasion ends up being eaten with fingers at formal events when tea sandwiches are served. They might be part of an afternoon tea or as part of a set of hors d'oeuvres. Hot sandwiches may be eaten either way, however, if they are prone to mess - lots of sauce and cheese - might be worth the fork and knife even in a casual setting. Open-faced sandwiches are always eaten with a fork and knife.
RIBS - Most typically eaten with fingers. You might use a fork and knife to split the ribs from the rack.
CHICKEN TENDERS/FINGERS - Ironically these are often best eaten with a fork and knife since there is no bone to use like a handle and often you’re eating them with sauces. If the tenders are already coated in sauce, then a fork is a must.
CHICKEN NUGGETS - Fingers.
BURGERS - No matter the patty, most burgers are meant to be eaten with your hands. Cutting one in half can make it more manageable. Remember you can always use a fork to get the bits that fall to your plate.
BURRITOS - Fingers. (Well, hands.)
SHRIMP - Tail on and served with a dipping sauce - fingers. Tail on or off but served in a dish - fork and knife.
OYSTERS/CLAMS - On the half-shell you might use your hands and slurp it down. Cooked in or out of the shell you often use an oyster fork. Small, clams-casino-type dishes you might choose fingers, especially when served as an hors d'oeuvre instead of an appetizer.
MUSCLES - Fork.
LOBSTER/CRAB SERVED IN SHELL - Fingers and forks. You’ll use crackers, picks, forks, and hands to help you maneuver these delicious crustaceans. Just remember to use a fork when dipping pieces in butter and sauce.
CAKE - When sliced use a fork, cupcakes are finger food.
FRIES - Fingers, unless served with steak and sauce or gravy.
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Thank you for spending some of your day with us. What are your top three favorite finger foods? Tell us in the comments! (Free subscribers can post to the Monday comments thread which is open to all.) Keep an eye out for the Saturday Sip, it’s coming up next!
Ciao for now (Lizzie’s off to eat Neopolitan pizza - “With a fork.” she says, it’s so gooey in the middle!)
Lizzie and Dan
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Good article! May I add a ‘wet burrito’ to the list? They are served on a plate with sauce. I’m no professional, but I’d recommend a fork!
Great article! I have to totally disagree about pizza though... if you are a true New Yorker, you NEVER eat it with a fork and knife! 😂