Etiquette Throwback: Etiquette, 1922 - Visiting Cards
Emily details how to attend the opera, sit in a box, and visit with others appropriately.
Emily Post’s Etiquette, 1922 - Visiting Card Invitations
We fielded a number of interviews recently on the topic of cell phone and texting manners and in many ways we see Emily’s approval of the short and sweet visiting card invitation as similar to our adoption of text message invitations being completely appropriate for casual gatherings. We’ll also take a look at Emily’s sample language for invitations in the second person as well as acceptances and regrets.
*Please note, that grammar and spelling in the following excerpt follow early 20th century standards.
Chapter XL
Invitations
VISITING CARD INVITATIONS
With the exception of invitations to house-parties, dinners and luncheons, the writing of notes is past. For an informal dance, musical, picnic, for a tea to meet a guest, or for bridge, a lady uses her ordinary visiting card:
![On a business card sized card, Mrs. John Kindhart is written is block letters, centered with 350 Park Avenue in smaller Small Caps font in the lower right corner. In handwriting centered from the top down is written: To meet [new line] Miss Millicent Guilding, then below the printed name is Tues. Jan 7. [new line] Dancing at 10 o’clock.](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KB0X!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5b70b3b3-1bdd-433c-8933-724e689df656_409x273.png "On a business card sized card, Mrs. John Kindhart is written is block letters, centered with 350 Park Avenue in smaller Small Caps font in the lower right corner. In handwriting centered from the top down is written: To meet [new line] Miss Millicent Guilding, then below the printed name is Tues. Jan 7. [new line] Dancing at 10 o’clock.")
or
![On a business card sized card, Mrs. John Kindhart is written is block letters, centered with 350 Park Avenue in smaller Small Caps font in the lower right corner. In handwriting is written from the top left: Wed. Jan. 8. [next line] Bridge at 4 o’clock. In the lower left corner in handwriting is R.S.V.P.](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!54n4!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef95f68d-926b-4d4a-b5a2-ffec2fdf3595_408x275.png "On a business card sized card, Mrs. John Kindhart is written is block letters, centered with 350 Park Avenue in smaller Small Caps font in the lower right corner. In handwriting is written from the top left: Wed. Jan. 8. [next line] Bridge at 4 o’clock. In the lower left corner in handwriting is R.S.V.P.")
Answers to invitations written on visiting cards are always formally worded in the third person, precisely as though the invitation had been engraved.
INVITATIONS IN THE SECOND PERSON
The informal dinner and luncheon invitation is not spaced according to set words on each line, but is written merely in two paragraphs. Example:
Dear Mrs. Smith:
Will you and Mr. Smith dine with us on Thursday, the seventh of January, at eight o’clock?
Hoping so much for the pleasure of seeing you,
Very sincerely,
Caroline Robinson Town.
THE INFORMAL NOTE OF ACCEPTANCE OR REGRET
Dear Mrs. Town:
It will give us much pleasure to dine with you on Thursday the seventh, at eight o’clock.
Thanking you for your kind thought of us,
Sincerely yours,
Margaret Smith.
Wednesday.
or
Dear Mrs. Town:
My husband and I will dine with you on Thursday the seventh, at eight o’clock, with greatest pleasure.
Thanking you so much for thinking of us,
Always sincerely,
Margaret Smith.
or
Dear Mrs. Town:
We are so sorry that we shall be unable to dine with you on the seventh, as we have a previous engagement.
With many thanks for your kindness in thinking of us,
Very sincerely,
Ethel Norman.
The shorthand of the visiting card was permitted because you were often only giving it out to people for casual invitations. There was no offense to be caused.
Emily shows how writing an invitation in the second person is done for informal invitations. Remembering of course that formal invitations are written in the third person. What we find interesting here is how in the 1920s the style of personal correspondence was to have the final paragraph essentially be a sentence broken up with spacing. Note the comma at the end of the note above, and the period after Ethel Norman’s name. Today, while we still capitalize the first word of the closing and use a comma after, the closing and signature are not considered part of the past paragraph and they no longer follow the sentence structure we see above.
We love that Emily offered two examples of acceptance. Showing both different styles and different wording helps the reader to understand that you do have options. This does not need to be a fill-in-the-blank or regimented situation. The goal is to communicate that you will attend and are grateful for being included.
Does seeing Emily’s visiting cards make you want something similar to send to your friends? Tell us about it in the comments! Or, let us know if you have one you love to use.
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We hope you enjoyed diving into casual invitations today. We’d love to hear your thoughts about it in the comments. And remember the Monday comment thread is open to all for comments.
Keep an eye on your inbox for the Saturday Sip, it’s up next.
Until next time!
Take care,
Lizzie and Dan
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My calling card is so very handy on many levels. I’ve designed mine with my name engraved on the card only.
Depending on who I am meeting and the context it gives me the flexibility to write which email or phone number to give based on the circumstances. In a pinch, I’ve used them as a gift enclosure with host/hostess gifts, bouquet of flowers.
Ah, visiting cards! I find visiting cards (or, as I call them, calling cards) especially useful for my lifestyle, as business cards necessitate an involvement in some sort of, well, business. I like the tradition of writing on the cards you give to people. It especially makes sense as a sort of pre-telephone texting system. I can see the connection of written letters being like phone calls and calling cards being like texts. There was a whole interesting set of rules which governed how a calling card should be styled. I do recommend trying out a calling card for anyone who doesn't want to use their business cards for social relationships.