Etiquette Throwback: Etiquette, 1922 - At the Opera
Emily details how to attend the opera, sit in a box, and visit with others appropriately.
Emily Post’s Etiquette, 1922 - At the Opera, the Theatre, and Other Public Gatherings
Today we jump back to Old Faithful, the 1922 edition of Etiquette for a look at how people were expected to behave at the opera. Emily makes no vagueties about it, this is a formal affair and there are rules and expectations to follow. But in classic Emily fashion, she shows us the way, while finding ways to make it relatable and reasonable that such protocol is necessary (at least in 1922.)
*Please note, that grammar and spelling in the following excerpt follow early 20th century standards.
Chapter VI.
At the Opera, the Theatre, and Other Public Gatherings
EXCEPTING a religious ceremonial, there is no occasion where greater dignity of manner is required of ladies and gentlemen both, than in occupying a box at the opera. For a gentleman especially no other etiquette is so exacting.
In walking about in the foyer of the opera house, a gentleman leaves his coat in the box—or in his orchestra chair—but he always wears his high hat. The “collapsible” hat is for use in the seats rather than in the boxes, but it can be worn perfectly well by a guest in the latter if he hasn’t a “silk” one. A gentleman must always be in full dress, tail coat, white waistcoat, white tie and white gloves whether he is seated in the orchestra or a box. He wears white gloves nowhere else except at a ball, or when usher at a wedding.
As people usually dine with their hostess before the opera, they arrive together; the gentlemen assist the ladies to lay off their wraps, one of the gentlemen (whichever is nearest) draws back the curtain dividing the ante-room from the box, and the ladies enter, followed by the gentlemen, the last of whom closes the curtain again. If there are two ladies besides the hostess, the latter places her most distinguished or older guest in the corner nearest the stage. The seat furthest from the stage is always her own. The older guest takes her seat first, then the hostess takes her place, whereupon the third lady goes forward in the center to the front of the box, and stands until one of the gentlemen places a chair for her between the other two. (The chairs are arranged in three rows, of one on either side with an aisle left between.)
One of the duties of the gentlemen is to see that the curtains at the back of the box remain tightly closed, as the light from the ante-room shining in the faces of others in the audience across the house is very disagreeable to them.
A gentleman never sits in the front row of a box, even though he is for a time alone in it.
AS TO VISITING
It is the custom for a gentleman who is a guest in one box to pay visits to friends in other boxes during the entr’actes. He must visit none but ladies of his acquaintance and must never enter a box in which he knows only the gentlemen, and expect to be introduced to the ladies. If Arthur Norman, for instance, wishes to present a gentleman to Mrs. Gilding in her box at the opera, he must first ask her if he may bring his friend James Dawson. (He would on no account speak of him as Mr. Dawson unless he is an elderly person.) A lady’s box at the opera is actually her house, and only those who are acceptable as visitors in her house should ask to be admitted.
But it is quite correct for a gentleman to go into a stranger’s box to speak to a lady who is a friend of his, just as he would go to see her if she were staying in a stranger’s house. But he should not go into the box of one he does not know, to speak to a lady with whom he has only a slight acquaintance, since visits are not paid quite so casually to ladies who are themselves visitors. Upon a gentleman’s entering a box it is obligatory for whoever is sitting behind the lady to whom the arriving gentleman’s visit is addressed, to relinquish his chair. Another point of etiquette is that a gentleman must never leave the ladies of his own box alone. Occasionally it happens that the gentlemen in Mrs. Gilding’s box, for instance, have all relinquished their places to visitors and have themselves gone to Mrs. Worldly’s or Mrs. Jones’ or Mrs. Town’s boxes. Mrs. Gilding’s guests must, from the vantage point of the Worldly, Jones or Town boxes, keep a watchful eye on their hostess and instantly return to her support when they see her visitors about to leave, even though the ladies whom they are momentarily visiting be left to themselves. It is of course the duty of the other gentlemen who came to the opera with Mrs. Worldly, Mrs. Jones or Mrs. Town to hurry to them.
A gentleman must never stay in any box that he does not belong in, after the lowering of the lights for the curtain. Nor, in spite of cartoons to the contrary, does good taste permit conversation during the performance or during the overture. Box holders arriving late or leaving before the final curtain do so as quietly as possible and always without speaking.
This is some of Emily at her best, explaining how to participate in a moment of formality and in many cases explaining why. The opera box isn’t a place to “pick up” or “get better acquainted with someone you’ve got your eye on. Giving the reader the fabulous analogy of the opera box being the extension of a hostess’s home easily brings to mind how one should treat the space. You don’t just burst in, because you’ve spotted someone whose face you recognize but are not acquainted with, just as you wouldn’t burst into someone’s home because you spotted someone through the window you met briefly a few weeks ago. It’s a very easy analogy to absorb and understand.
When it comes to instruction, Emily leaves out no details, from how to enter the box and who should be minding the curtains (and why! No light should be getting through,) to exactly where everyone should sit and how the chairs should be arranged.
The order of seating is interesting though. While Emily’s version allows the most amount of space for the distinguished, or elder guest as well as the hostess to take their seats (the chair for the third lady being brought it, once the first two are seated,) we wonder if this doesn’t leave the third guest with less room and if it would be more considerate for the hostess to have her own chair brought in last and be seated last, thus taking on the maneuvering of the smaller space. It would be fun to see if this particular suggestion stays consistent in later editions. Or if it follows suit with what sociologist, Andrea Voyer has learned about Emily Post Etiquette books, that over the years the responsibilities like this, become more the task of the host.
PERSONALIZATIONS ARE BACK! Get started on your holiday shopping, or fall birthdays with a personalized copy of Emily Post’s Etiquette - The Centennial Edition. Now through October your signed copy of Emily Post’s Etiquette - The Centennial Edition may also be personalized if you wish (ex: “For John,” or “To Ella - A True Etiquette Afficianato!”) Get your copies today! It’s one more thing to check off the gift to-do list NOW!
Enjoying this publication? The most impactful way to support it is with a paid subscription. It not only allows us to continue our efforts but also helps us grow! Thank you for considering it. It makes a BIG difference.
We hope you enjoyed diving into opera etiquette today with us. We’d love to hear your thoughts about it in the comments. And remember the Monday comment thread is open to all for comments.
Keep an eye on your inbox for the Saturday Sip, it’s up next.
Until next time!
Take care,
Lizzie and Dan
Looking to improve your own etiquette? Check out our eLearning programs for business etiquette and dining etiquette.
Having just been to the theater last evening (apologies, I was behind on my reading), this was an absolutely fascinating read.
I do wish certain venues or functions held a bit more formality still. While I’m no manners absolutist at the theatre, I do wish folks would remember a few of the “common courtesy” rules while at a show/performance- no talking, absolutely no cell phone usage during the show, and (when allowed by a venue) limit food and drink noises during the show.
There are, of course, always caveats depending on the show type - kids shows, interactive productions, etc.
I can now just imagine the true grandeur - and work - of attending the opera or theatre in Emily’s day. I’m gonna go out in a limb here to say: I think I’d have loved it. 😄
I'm a big opera fan. While I've never sat in a box, I wear white tie and tails every time I attend an opera or ballet — save for daytime or minor productions. I absolutely agree with Springer; no talking, no cell phone usage, and no noisy snacks! One is certainly permitted to grab an usher and ask for help should the problem persist. Always face the audience when entering an aisle. No feet up on the balcony. (Yes, I've seen it.) And, most of all, please, please, please no "humorous" additions heard throughout the opera house. I once heard a man go "oww!" like we were at a certain "club" near the climax of the opera. (Apologies for the analogy, but I can think of no better way to put it.) Suffice to say, it was an embarrassing moment for everyone in the opera house. Attending an opera no longer requires a complex understanding of decorum — instead, it just requires common courtesy and to not treat the opera house like it's your living room. If you want to stick your feet up and chat throughout the performance, I strongly recommend using YouTube to watch a free performance in the comfort of your own home. No shame in doing so!