Etiquette Throwback: 1969, ETIQUETTE, Table Precedence
A section on seating guests at the table from Elizabeth L. Post's 1969 edition of Emily Post's Etiquette
Emily Post’s Etiquette, 12th edition, 1969 by Elizabeth L. Post
The 12th edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette was the second time that Elizabeth L. Post revised Emily’s great tome after her death in 1960. The version that we have in our library is a stately book. A much brighter teal - almost Tiffany blue, one might say - leather cover with writing only on the spine, made for a very handsome and giftable book. After our own adventure of writing Etiquette during the pandemic we can’t help but wonder what it was like for our grandmother to have taken on the mantle to write about formalities (as well as everyday living) during the cultural revolution of the 1960s.
In this section, Elizabeth details seating charts for dinner parties. In keeping with the Emily Post tradition, Elizabeth lays out how to do everything by the book and then lets us know how and when we might choose to break the rules.
SEATING YOUR GUESTS
The Order of Table Precedence
pg. 167-170
The lady of highest rank is on the host’s right. The lady of next highest rank is on his left. The third lady sits on the right of the man of the highest rank who is on the hostess’s right. The fourth lady is on the left of the man of second rank who is on the hostess’s left, and so on (see diagram). The lowest rank is nearest the center. If the dinner is not official and there is no particular distinction in rank or age, the hostess may seat her guests in whatever order she thinks will achieve the most congenial and pleasant conversation. The lady she places on her husband’s right is automatically the guest of honor. The “lady of honor” or of first rank must be “taken in” by the host and seated at his right. The hostess goes in to dinner with the man of the second highest rank, because she will be on his right and therefore will be seated by him. But if the man of honor is of such importance that she must go in with him as well as place him at her right, it is necessary to send the lady who sits on the right of the gentleman of honor and the gentleman who sits on the hostess’s left in to dinner together and then to separate them. He sees her to her place, and discovering that his card is not next to hers, goes around the table until he finds his own. The diagram (with arrow lines indicating ladies and gentlemen who go in together) makes this seemingly complicated situation clear:
Seating A Party Of Eight, Twelve, or Sixteen
At dinners of eight, twelve, sixteen, twenty, and twenty-four, where either two ladies or two men must sit at head and foot of the table, the hostess usually relinquishes her place and the host keeps his. At a dinner of twelve, it is important that she take the place at her left instead of at her right, because otherwise she, instead of the lady at the right of the gentleman of honor, will be served first. The following diagram gives an example of this, with the lines showing service:
Occasionally other variations on the usual scheme are necessary for a specific reason. This diagram shows, for example, the correct seating arrangement for a group that has a hostess but no host:
The order of table precedence for such special situations can be worked out suitably by applying common sense to the standard forms and need not be a cause for particular concern.
Wow! That first section is a doozy. If you got lost between the ranking of guests and who their dinner partners should be, you are not alone. It took us a few tries reading it to fully understand. Elizabeth L. Post keeps the Emily tradition alive, of stating the most formal way to handle a given situation and then explores a few caveats and applies a dose of reality to help simplify things “The order of table precedence for such special situations can be worked out suitably by applying common sense to the standard forms and need not be a cause for particular concern.” encouraging the reader that this really can be simple if you allow it to be.
While some social circles might still have use for applying rank among the guests (military and government positions usually), rarely are we ever ranking our friends in such a way. If we do it comes in the form of “guest of honor” and “guest” rather than anything having to do with a title they might hold (and usually the guest of honor is quite obvious because we are likely gathered for the reason of celebrating this person.)
We did notice that no matter which type of table Elizabeth is describing, in 1969, she never places guests of honor, or hosts in the middle section of the table. And while she describes an option for a hostess entertaining on her own, this edition does not yet explore a host, entertaining on his own.
Today, we recognize that with an expansion in understanding around personal identity and relationships not only are fewer parties made up of couples, but they are also not evenly distributed between two genders. By opening up our advice to focus more on how to balance guests at a table to create the best conversational outcomes, we include more people and make the advice more accessible.
While she is no longer with us, we’d like to close this article with a thank you to our grandmother, Elizabeth L. Post (who we affectionately called Mud): Thank you, Mud, for carrying on Emily’s legacy so well and making it possible for us to carry on yours.
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Thank you for your time today and for taking a look at seating chart etiquette from 1969. We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments, remember the Monday thread is open to all. Keep an eye on your inbox for the Saturday Sip, it’s up next.
Until next time!
Take care,
Lizzie and Dan
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