Etiquette Throwback: 1948 Vogue Etiquette Cards for Christmas and Other Occasions
Having brushed up on cards for the modern era, let's jump back to post-war America and see how advice around holiday cards was written.
Millicent Fenwick, Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948 - Cards for Christmas and Other Occasions
With many of the same questions we receive today being answered by Fenwick in her advice on sending holiday and occasion cards, we found the following paragraphs quite familiar. One delightful detail to keep an eye out for is the strike-through. Let’s take a look.
*Please note that grammar and spelling in the following excerpt follow 20th century standards.
Chapter 69 - Cards
CARDS FOR CHRISTMAS AND OTHER OCCASIONS
Engraved or printed cards are sent at Christmas, at Easter, for St. Valentine’s Day, or for birthdays. And, except among the young or for special reasons, Christmas cards are the only ones sent as a matter of course. Incidentally, none should be called a “greeting card".” It is unnecessary but not, of course, incorrect to write a message on a Christmas card. It need only be signed, as a letter would be. As in letter writing no title should be used in the signature. “Mrs.” or “Mr.” is wrong. Correct are signatures such as “Mary” or “Mary Andrews.” Christmas cards sent by a husband and wife are usually addressed and signed by the wife and, therefore, her name comes after his: “Robert and Mary Andrews,” rather than “Mary and Robert.” Another signature that should not be used is, “Mr. and Mrs. Robert Andrews and family.” “And family” is not a desirable form. Much better are “…and love from us all, Robert and Mary”; or, more formally, “…from all of us” or “…and best wishes from us all.”
When the names are engraved, the order is reversed and the message ends, “Mary and Robert Andrews.” If one were sending such a Christmas card to a relative or intimate friend, “Andrews” would be struck out in ink, and “Love” or, “Affectionately” would be written in above the names.
Another way of engraving Christmas cards is to start the message “Mr. and Mrs….” For example, “Mr. and Mrs. Robert Andrews wish you a Merry Christmas…" This is, of course, more formal than the first form suggested, but either is correct. A form which should be avoided in engraving, as in writing, is the one which ends, “Mr. and Mrs….” because it suggests the impolite and improper use of “Mr. and Mrs.” as a signature. And the abbreviation “Xmas” should never be used.
A few things about this excerpt stand out to our eyes, one of them being the emphasis on the order of the names. The suggestion is clear that the signer should put their spouse’s name first. It’s fun to see Fenwick in 1948 suggesting to separate a man from his last name, which is a “rule of etiquette” that we hear people reference often. Seeing it here makes us wonder if it wasn’t as much of a “rule” as people assume.
She also suggests that the last name could be used when signing the card “Robert and Mary Andrews” but should be struck out when using an engraved signature on a card to a close family member or intimate friend. We also noticed the switching of name order between engraved and non-engraved cards. If only a time machine could let us ask Fenwick why. If any of you dear readers have insight, we would love to hear it! (The Monday podcast post’s comment thread is open to all. Community Members, you can leave your comments in this post’s thread.)
We enjoyed the breakdown of options in Vogue’s advice. Sending a hand-signed card, sending an engraved card, and the variations on formality. There was something particularly formal and a little enticing about the option that read, “Mr. and Mrs. Robert Andrews wish you a Merry Christmas…” While not commonly seen today, the formality delighted us (picture it engraved!) Something we didn’t expect to see and thought had only emerged in the last 30 or 40 years was the abbreviation “Xmas.” Fenwick is clear and minces no words; it’s a no-go.
Today, we say the names can be listed in any order and that it’s up to you if you use your last name or not, and the use of “…and family” is fairly common. We also agree that signing “Mr. and Mrs.” cards (without names) is not a good idea as it is less personal.
We hope this dive into holiday cards from Vogue in 1948 was fun for you, and maybe it gave a little inspiration for your holiday cards this year; whether you go casual or formal, they certainly do help make the season bright!
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We hope you enjoyed exploring etiquette from Vogue this week.
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Until next time!
Take care,
Lizzie and Dan
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