Etiquette Throwback: 1937, Margery Wilson, The New Etiquette, Gifts
A venture into gift giving etiquette from 1937 as we cruise through the December holidays.
Margery Wilson, The New Etiquette, 1937 - Gifts
As we start to wrap up the gifting holidays of December, we thought we’d take a look back in time at what Margery Wilson had to say on gift-giving in the 1930s. Rather than post the entire chapter, we’ve taken a selection of ideas Wilson poses about gift giving that pertain most to holiday or everyday gift giving.
*Please note that grammar and spelling in the following excerpt follow 20th century standards.
Chapter XXVI - Gifts
We are civilized just to the extent that we give. Every type of animal knows how to get for itself, to scheme, to take away that which some fellow being has, but only the more highly evolved entities find pleasure in giving…
While this chapter is chiefly concerned with material gifts of small or great cost, there are other kinds of great value. And no one must imagine that he has nothing to give his friends just because his pockets are empty.
A gift, in the first place, is the compliment of attention—a token that the recipient’s pleasure is foremost in his mind. We can always give sympathy, laughter and encouragement. We can always give our happy, vital presence…
The perfect modern gift would show thoughtfulness, some originality and ingenuity. The more money one has, the more he should put his personal effort into his gifts. If a wife knows that her husband’s secretary simply obeys an automatic order on Mondays and sends her flowers, how can she enjoy them as much as she would a nosegay of violets that he had chosen himself for remembrance sake?
Looking back into our lives, the gifts we remember with tenderness are those that touched us because they were thoughtful. I remember a box of trailing-arbutus sent by a boy who had gathered it himself on treacherous mountainsides. I recall with moist eyes a ring filed out of a shell by a young rough-neck who would have preferred to be playing football. I remember a little handful of wilted wild-flowers, their stems stuck through a lace-paper doily, presented to me by an eight-year-old boy who had waited four hours to hand them to me personally. But I haven’t the faintest recollection of who sent me the largest chrysanthemums I have ever received or the greatest number of orchids…
I have given a friend a piece of Lalique on one occasion and at another time something from the ten-cent store...
The written card of a husband and wife which accompanies a Christmas gift should be signed “Helen and Arthur Blake.” If an engraved card is used, however, the name may read “Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Blake.”…
The fashion of gift-giving has always been smart and seems to be gaining impetus. Gifts for no reason or any reason, gifts of little value but as expressions of thoughtfulness are often more chic than those of great price…
Wilson starts her chapter by acknowledging that giving isn’t the most common thing in the animal kingdom. As a species, we are one of the few who actually embark on the act. Throughout the chapter, Wilson makes the case that gifts come in all sizes and shapes and can be given for various occasions. In particular, we like that as she starts the chapter, she makes it clear that gifts do not have to be bought or made but that we can choose to make our time, our support, our sympathy, and the like as gifts to those in our lives. Though not in the selected excerpts, she hails the letter, the telegram, and newspaper or magazine clippings as excellent small everyday gifts. She makes the point that these types of gifts are incredibly thoughtful and filled with attention and effort. As a whole, she paints a picture of casual, easy-breezy everyday gift-giving as something that should be simple and impactful, easy and meaningful.
Wilson illustrates (with several flower-related examples) just how much it is the thought counts when it comes to gifting. From her sweet memories of great efforts being made (treacherous mountainsides and four-hour-long waits) to give flowers as a gift. In her hypothetical couple with the automatic gifting through a middleman (the Monday flowers ordered by the secretary), we can see the difference in perspectives on thoughtfulness that Wilson paints and why it matters to how the gift is received.
As we close out the big holiday rush this year, we hope you are experiencing the joy of the season and the joy that comes from giving to others.
ORDER NOW Signed copies of Emily Post’s Etiquette - The Centennial Edition are available now! They make for excellent hosting gifts, especially for those traveling and staying with others this holiday season!
GIVE A GIFT & MAKE A DIFFERENCE It takes a lot for this small team to keep Emily Post's etiquette relevant today. If you’d like to see our work continue and grow, gift a paid subscription to this publication to the people on your list this year. Thank you for considering it. Your support makes a BIG difference.
We hope you enjoyed exploring etiquette from Margery Wilson in 1937 this week. Do you have a particularly memorable gift you’ve received over the years? Tell us about it in the comments. Can’t post here because you aren’t a Community Member yet? Head over to Monday’s podcast post, where comments are open to all.
AWESOME ETIQUETTE PODCAST SPECIAL REQUEST: Please send your etiquette questions and salutes to awesomeetiquette@emilypost.com.
Keep an eye on your inbox for the Saturday Sip; it’s up next!
Take care,
Lizzie and Dan
Looking to improve your own etiquette? Check out our eLearning programs for both business and dining etiquette.