Etiquette Throwback 1922: The Turning of The Table
Emily Post discusses how to properly "turn a table" so that guests can talk to the person on their right and their left throughout a formal dinner.
Etiquette, 1922, The Turning of the Table
Continuing from Emily Post’s 1922 edition of Etiquette’s section on Formal Dinners, we take a look at how a hostess “turns the table”, ensuring guests speak to those seated on both sides of them.
*Please note that the grammar, spelling, and attitude in the following excerpt follow early 20th-century standards, and we have included the excerpt as is, with any typos that were printed in the book at the time.
FORMAL DINNERS
The Turning of the Table
pg 221
THE TURNING OF THE TABLE
The turning of the table is accomplished by the hostess, who merely turns from the gentleman (on her left probably) with whom she has been talking through the soup and the fish course, to the one on her right. As she turns, the lady to whom the “right” gentleman has been talking, turns to the gentleman further on, and in a moment everyone at table is talking to a new neighbor. Sometimes a single couple who have become very much engrossed, refuse to change partners and the whole table is blocked; leaving one lady and one gentleman on either side of the block, staring alone at their plates. At this point the hostess has to come to the rescue by attracting the blocking lady’s attention and saying, “Sally, you cannot talk to Professor Bugge any longer! Mr. Smith has been trying his best to attract your attention.”
“Sally” being in this way brought awake, is obliged to pay attention to Mr. Smith, and Professor Bugge, little as he may feel inclined, must turn his attention to the other side. To persist in carrying on their own conversation at the expense of others, would be inexcusably rude, not only to their hostess but to every one present.
Times they sure have changed. While it’s still polite to spend time speaking with those on your right and left during a meal, it’s less rigidly done today. We’re also more likely to forgive someone for getting engrossed in a particular conversation and not dividing their time equally between the person seated to their right and the one on their left.
Today, while a host wouldn’t call out a guest for talking with another so long, a host might try to get the engrossed pair’s attention and ask them a question that would either open up their conversation to the whole table, or encourage them to talk about something else with the whole table. Alternatively, a host might direct their attention to someone who isn’t talking with anyone at the table in an effort to be inclusive.
Either way, whether in 1922 or 2026, a host should pay attention to the conversation dynamics at play so that they can jump in to make guests comfortable when needed.
We hope you are enjoying our series on Formal Dinners from Emily’s 1922 edition. Do you do a good job talking to both of your dining companions on your right and left when you’re at a dinner? Please, share your thoughts about Emily’s old-school practice of turning the table with us in the comments. Can’t post? Sign up for a subscription today, or post on the Monday Podcast comment thread.
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