Etiquette Throwback 1922: The Perfectly Managed Wedding
We look at a section from Emily Post's Etiquette the original 1922 edition for a peek in at wedding in the 1920s.
Emily Post’s Etiquette, 1922, The Perfectly Managed Wedding (and more)
A blast from the past, indeed. This section from Emily’s 1922 edition of Etiquette focuses on getting everyone to their places and the bride ready to go down the aisle. It describes a Christian church wedding entrance. And we found the attire references almost comical in their specificity. While today we no longer refer to the staff of a household or a facility as servants, the reference did get us wondering…did the Church not have a closet or even a coat stand that would allow for bridesmaids’ wraps to be stowed while the service took place? Let’s take a look at how Emily prepared couples for their wedding ceremony.
*Please note that grammar and spelling in the following excerpt follow early-20th-century standards.
THE DAY OF THE WEDDING
THE PERFECTLY MANAGED WEDDING [and more]
pgs. 357-358
At a perfectly managed wedding, the bride arrives exactly one minute (to give a last comer time to find place) after the hour. Two or three servants have been sent to wait in the vestibule to help the bride and bridesmaids off with their wraps and hold them until they are needed after the ceremony. The groom’s mother and father also are waiting in the vestibule. As the carriage of the bride’s mother drives up, an usher goes as quickly as he can to tell the groom, and any brothers or sisters of the bride or groom, who are not to take part in the wedding procession and have arrived in their mother’s carriage, are now taken by ushers to their places in the front pews. The moment the entire wedding party is at the church, the doors between the vestibule and the church are closed. No one is seated after this, except the parents of the young couple. The proper procedure should be carried out with military exactness, and is as follows:
The groom’s mother goes down the aisle on the arm of the head usher and takes her place in the first pew on the right; the groom’s father follows alone, and takes his place beside her; the same usher returns to the vestibule and immediately escorts the bride’s mother; he should then have time to return to the vestibule and make his place in the procession. The beginning of the wedding march should sound just as the usher returns to the head of the aisle. To repeat: No other person should be seated after the mother of the bride. Guests who arrive later must stand in the vestibule or go into the gallery.
The sound of the music is also the cue for the clergyman to enter the chancel, followed by the groom and his best man. The two latter wear gloves but have left their hats and sticks in the vestibule.
The groom stands on the right hand side at the head of the aisle, but if the vestry opens into the chancel, he sometimes stands at the top of the first few steps. He removes his right glove and holds it in his left hand. The best man remains always directly back and to the right of the groom. and does not remove his glove. [Yes, we included the punctuation typo from the text. Can you spot it?]
Emily takes this section quite seriously. Hammering home points and making definitive statements. She paints a clear picture and I think some modern ushers might scratch their heads thinking, Was I really supposed to do all that and so precisely? All I was told to do was show up on time and stand next to Bill! The three sections that follow, Here Comes The Bride, The Groom Comes Forward To Meet The Bride, and Her Father Gives Her Away, will be explored in our next Thursday Throwback (the week after next.)
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Thanks for taking some time to explore a bit of old-school etiquette with us today. We love diving into Emily’s original edition. Thank you for joining us! Keep an eye on your inbox for the Saturday Sip; it’s up next!
All our best,
Lizzie and Dan
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Oh my goodness, what a delight it was to read this -- I was married in 1972 and I don't remember feeling the pressure to be so particular. But I think Emily felt -- and was probably right -- that the more everyone understood what they were to do and when and where, the more they could just relax and enjoy the event.