Etiquette Throwback: 1922, How to Enter a Drawing-Room
This section of Emily Post Etiquette from the 1922 edition reminds us to take our time and seek out our host when entering a room.
HOW TO ENTER A DRAWING-ROOM Emily Post Etiquette, 1922
EMILY POST ETIQUETTE, 1922, pg 94
HOW TO ENTER A DRAWING-ROOM
To know how to enter a drawing-room is supposed to be one of the supreme tests of good breeding. But there should be no more difficulty in entering the drawing-room of Mrs. Worldly than in entering the sitting-room at home. Perhaps the best instruction would be like that in learning to swim. “Take plenty of time, don’t struggle and don’t splash about!” Good manners socially are not unlike swimming--not the “crawl” or “overhand,” but smooth, tranquil swimming. (Quite probably where the expression “in the swim” came from anyway!) Before actually entering a room, it is easiest to pause long enough to see where the hostess is. Never start forward and then try to find her as an afterthought. The place to pause is on the threshold--not halfway in the room. The way not to enter a drawing-room is to dart forward and then stand awkwardly bewildered and looking about in every direction. A man of the world stops at the entrance of the room for a scarcely perceptible moment, until he perceives the most unencumbered approach to the hostess, and he thereupon walks over to her. When he greets his hostess he pauses slightly, the hostess smiles and offers her hand; the gentleman smiles and shakes hands, at the same time bowing. A lady shakes hands with the hostess and with everyone she knows who is nearby. She bows to acquaintances at a distance and to strangers to whom she is introduced.
It can seem like such a simple thing, entering a room. Emily even states that entering a formal sitting room at Mrs. Worldly’s should be no different than entering your own at home. Easy. Familiar. However as she goes on we see that by taking a moment to think before we act, we craft a smooth and elegant version of entering a room. We assess the situation, plan a course, and execute it. What’s fantastic about this advice from 1922 is that it is no less relevant today. We might not be entering a drawing room, but we certainly enter gatherings and parties whether at home or at a venue. And for those who often express anxiety in entering a room for a gathering, especially when arriving solo, Emily’s encouragement to take one’s time, and let your purpose (finding and greeting your host) direct your movement and attention, can easily provide a sense of confidence when preparing to face this moment.
Whether in 1922 or 2023, when you enter a room, take a deep breath, pause, and remember to seek out the host and then a smooth and easy path to get to them.
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