Etiquette Throwback: 1922, Golf
Emily Post on the game of Golf from the 1922 edition of Etiquette.
Emily Post’s Etiquette, 1922, Golf
As Lizzie gets excited about finally being able to book her first round of golf this summer, we were delighted to come across Emily’s take on the game from the 1922 edition. This section comes after a lengthy section on bridge do’s and don’ts which we will visit in an upcoming Throwback.
Chapter 31, Games & Sports
GOLF
Golf is a particularly severe strain upon the amiability of the average person’s temper, and in no other game, except bridge, is serenity of disposition so essential. No one easily “ruffled” can keep a clear eye on the ball, and exasperation at “lost balls” seemingly bewitches successive ones into disappearing with the completeness and finality of puffs of smoke. In a race or other test of endurance a flare of anger might even help, but in golf it is safe to say that he who loses his temper is pretty sure to lose the game.
Golf players of course know the rules and observe them, but it quite often happens that idlers, having nothing better to do, walk out over a course and “watch the players.” If they know the players well, that is one thing, but they have no right to follow strangers. A player who is nervous is easily put off his game, especially if those watching him are so ill-bred as to make audible remarks. Those playing matches of course expect an audience, and erratic and nervous players ought not to go into tournaments—or at least not in two-ball foursomes where they are likely to handicap a partner.
In following a match, onlookers must be careful to stand well within bounds and neither talk nor laugh nor do anything that can possibly distract the attention of the players.
The rule that you should not appoint yourself mentor holds good in golf as well as in bridge and every other game. Unless your advice is asked for, you should not instruct others how to hold their clubs or which ones to use, or how they ought to make the shot.
A young woman must on no account expect the man she happens to be playing with to make her presents of golf-balls, or to caddy for her, nor must she allow him to provide her with a caddy. If she can’t afford to hire one of her own, she must either carry her own clubs or not play golf.
100 years later Emily’s advice is still quite true: the vast majority of golfers must keep an even if not pleasant demeanor in order to play well. The quickest way for your ball to go nowhere (sometimes literally - WIFF!) is for your heart rate to race. This is actually one of the things Lizzie Post says she loves about the game. It forces her to work on the management of her emotions (and to do it over and over again for 2-5 hours.) She’s found golf is a great way to “practice” patience and amiability under stress.
We can understand Emily’s caution, in warning those who are nervous players to avoid tournaments and other rounds that might cause them to impede others’ success in the round. However, Lizzie talks about how helpful it was in her early days of golfing to have friends who would invite her despite her novice level, and in turn she made many friends by encouraging others to come and play no matter their skill level. With the right people, it can be a skill-building and friendship-building experience. Today we might re-frame this advice to be: pick and choose the tournaments and events you play in wisely as a novice. Don’t set yourself up with the goal of winning, but instead the goal of having a good time. We’d also say: always let your partner know your ability level before you make the commitment.
“The one who does the asking does the paying.” seems to go out the window in Emily’s advice to young women, who if they cannot afford the round should not let a gentleman pay for their golf balls or caddies. Today we would not be so strict with this advice. As with other times when someone offers to treat or host us, it is important to know the nature of the invitation and how it fits in the relationship. Once that is established, weather you accept or how you choose to divvy expenses is up to you.
One of our favorite pieces of advice from this section is Emily’s advice to not act as a mentor to anyone who hasn’t asked for your opinion. Its not uncommon for rounds between couples or friends or parents playing golf with their children (even adult children) to end in dramatic fashion, with thrown clubs, scowls, harsh words, or hurt feelings, because someone tried to “offer some advice” without asking first. Always ask first before offering corrections. And players remember, it’s wonderful to invite a correction or observation if you’re open to it: “Do you mind watching my swing on this one?” “Would you double-check my line?” “Did you see if I picked my head up on that one?” Just remember to not overdo it, you’re likely playing with friends or other members, not the course pro.
Now…to see if this post inspires Dan to join Lizzie on the course! (FORE!)
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Thank you for taking a trip back in time with us today and looking at some golf etiquette from 100 years ago. Are you a golfer or the relative of a golfer? Have some thoughts on golf etiquette? We’d love to hear them in the comments, remember the Monday thread is open to all. Keep an eye on your inbox for the Saturday Sip, it’s up next.
Until next time!
Take care,
Lizzie and Dan
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