Etiquette Throwback 1922: Emily Post, Etiquette, Talking Too Much
Emily offers sage advice for those who might be talking too much.
Emily Post’s Etiquette, 1922, A Few Maxims for Those Who Talk Too Much - And Easily!
“Above all stop and think what you are saying!” is one of our favorite Emily Post quotes, here’s one of the sections in the 1922 edition of Etiquette where Emily really hammers home this point.
As you can tell from the image above and our notes in the margins of our REPLICA copy, we really love this section for it’s good advice - advice that has certainly stood the test of time.
*Please note that the grammar and spelling in the following excerpt follow 20th-century standards.
CHAPTER VII
CONVERSATION
A Few Maxims for Those Who Talk Too Much - And Easily!
Pg 56-57
The faults of commission are far more serious than those of omission; regrets are seldom for what you left unsaid.
The chatterer reveals every corner of his shallow mind; one who keeps silent can not have his depth plumbed.
Don’t pretend to know more than you do. To say you have read a book and then seemingly to understand nothing of what you have read, proves you a half-wit. Only the very small mind hesitates to say “I don’t know.”
Above all, stop and think what you are saying! This is really the first, last and only rule. If you “stop” you can’t chatter or expound or flounder ceaselessly, and if you think, you will find a topic and a manner of presenting your topic so that your neighbor will be interested rather than long-suffering.
Remember also that the sympathetic (not apathetic) listener is the delight of delights. The person who looks glad to see you, who is seemingly eager for your news, or enthralled with your conversation; who looks at you with a kindling of the face, and gives you spontaneous and undivided attention, is the one to whom the palm for the art of conversation would undoubtedly be awarded.
Not to be outshone by the advice to stop and think, we think Emily’s encouragement to admit what you don’t know or are not familiar with is spot on. In our own work and lives, we have both had many moments when admitting what we didn’t know, lead to amazing, informative, conversations. It can sometimes cause a bit of panic when you want to impress someone (a date, a boss, your new father-in-law) and the conversation veers into unknown waters. You might not be able to stop the feeling of being in over your head when you find yourself in this situation, but knowing that it’s okay to say, “I don’t know.” or “I’m not familiar with XYZ, please tell me more.” is such a comfort and can quell that anxiety before it has time to really impact you.
We hope you’ve enjoyed this cautious conversation throwback. Have you ever gotten yourself into uncomfortable waters by trying to keep up with a conversation when you’re truly at a loss? We’d love to hear your experience in the comments below.
A Fabulous Gift
Signed copies of Emily Post’s Etiquette - The Centennial Edition and Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette, 6th edition are available now and make an excellent gift for newly engaged couples! And pair well with our NEW TRIVIA GAME: Mind Your Manners. Get your copy today from the fine folks at Bridgeside Books!
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Lizzie and Dan