Etiquette Throwback 1922: Emily Post, Etiquette, Personality of A Handshake
Emily Post's first edition addresses how a handshake is translated.
Etiquette, 1922, Personality of A Handshake
Emily could certainly paint a picture, and we love the descriptions she uses to guide us toward the proper handshake. It worked in 1922, and while today’s advice isn’t so gendered, much of it still applies.
*Please note that the grammar and spelling in the following excerpt follow 20th-century standards.
CHAPTER III
GREETINGS
Personality of A Handshake
Pg 20-21
A handshake often creates a feeling of liking or of irritation between two strangers. Who does not dislike a "boneless" hand extended as though it were a spray of seaweed, or a miniature boiled pudding? It is equally annoying to have one's hand clutched aloft in grotesque affectation and shaken violently sideways, as though it were being used to clean a spot out of the atmosphere.
What woman does not wince at the viselike grasp that cuts her rings into her flesh and temporarily paralyzes every finger?
The proper handshake is made briefly; but there should be a feeling of strength and warmth in the clasp, and, as in bowing, one should at the same time look into the countenance of the person whose hand one takes. In giving her hand to a foreigner, a married woman always relaxes her arm and fingers, as it is customary for him to lift her hand to his lips. But by a relaxed hand is not meant a wet rag; a hand should have life even though it be passive. A woman should always allow a man who is only an acquaintance to shake her hand; she should never shake his.
To a very old friend she gives a much firmer clasp, but he shakes her hand more than she shakes his. Younger women usually shake the hand of the older; or they both merely clasp hands, give them a dropping movement rather than a shake, and let go.
How does your handshake measure up to Emily’s advice? Any tweaks or adjustments you can make to improve your own handshake? One of our favorite pieces of handshake advice is to use a grip that is about what you’d need to turn a doorknob, not too tight, not too loose.
We’d love to hear about the pointers or things you do to create a welcoming or confident handshake. Can’t post in the comments below? Sign up for a subscription today, or post on the Monday Podcast comment thread.
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