Etiquette Throwback 1922: Emily Post, Etiquette, Where Are The "Belles" Of Yesterday?
Emily Post - a belle of her own debut year during the Gilded Age - muses on the lack of "belles" today.
Etiquette, 1922, Where Are The “Belles” of Yesterday?
Emily Post’s debut in 1889 saw her as the belle of the ball and the debutante season. She could cross a ballroom unescorted, she danced beautifully, and she was lavished with flowers and favors (gifts), needing assistance to carry them all to her carriage at the end of the night. The goal of debuts in the Gilded Age was to present young women to society as viable options for marriage. While dating existed in some communities, high society went a different direction. Instead, they chose to play the “game” by hosting huge balls and organizing in great detail the socializing of young women and men. Emily loved the attention she received in this world and found she was quite good at everything a debutante needed to be. And she did indeed impress the beau she was hoping to catch the eye of at her first dance, Edwin Post. As Emily, the former belle, writes in Etiquette to the debutantes of 1922, she does not hold them to the rules for the same game that her era played. What is set up as a lament in its title quickly becomes encouragement. Emily paints a picture of what a debutante might do today to succeed, regardless of her skill on the dance floor. Let’s take a look.
*Please note that the grammar and spelling in the following excerpt follow 20th-century standards.
CHAPTER XVIII
THE DEBUTANTE
Where Are The “Belles” of Yesterday?
Pg 284-285
In olden days and until a comparatively short while ago, a young girl's social success was invariably measured by her popularity in a ballroom. It was the girl who had the most partners, who least frequently sat "against the wall," who carried home the greatest quantity of the baubles known as "favors," who was that evening's and usually the season's belle.
But to-day although ballroom popularity is still important as a test by which a young girl's success is measured, it is by no means the beginning and end that it used to be.
As repeated several times in this book, the day of the belle is past; beaux belong to the past too. To-day is the day of woman's equality with man, and if in proving her equality she has come down from a pedestal, her pedestal was perhaps a theatrical "property" at best and not to be compared for solid satisfaction with the level ground of the entirely real position she now occupies.
A girl's popularity in a ballroom is of importance to be sure, but not greatly more so than the dancing popularity of a youth.
There was a time when "wall-flowers" went to balls night after night where they either sat beside a chaperon or spent the evening in the dressing-room in tears. To-day a young girl who finds she is not a ballroom success avoids ballrooms and seeks her success otherwhere. She does not sit in a corner and hope against hope that her "luck will turn" and that Prince Charming will surely some evening discover her. She sizes up the situation precisely as a boy might size up his own chances to "make" the crew or the football team.
Is anyone else glad that we aren’t living in the Gilded Age? Thank goodness customs change with the times! While dating culture today may feel like a free-for-all all with no rules whatsoever, leaving singles to wonder just how an effective match is made, we have at least opened up options for a greater number of people, and we have removed the expectation that one has to date within their “class” or “station”. Again, thank goodness.
We hope you’ve enjoyed this throwback to debutantes of the 1920s. We love stepping back in time with you to explore the etiquette of bygone eras. Let us know your thoughts about debutantes and debutante balls in the comments below. Can’t post here? Sign up for a subscription today, or post on the Monday Podcast comment thread.
A Fabulous Gift
Signed copies of Emily Post’s Business Etiquette (pre-orders available, launch May 13th) Emily Post’s Etiquette - The Centennial Edition and our Trivia Game: Mind Your Manners are all available! Get your copy today from the fine folks at Bridgeside Books!
HELP KEEP EMILY POST PUBLISHING QUALITY CONTENT
If you enjoy this publication and would like to ensure it continues, please join our paid Community Membership. It is the most impactful way to contribute to the work we do. Thank you for considering it. Your support makes a big difference.
Thank you for spending some of your day with us! If you haven’t checked out the podcast this week, here’s the link. Keep an eye on your inbox for the Saturday Sip; it’s up next!
All our best,
Lizzie and Dan