Etiquette Throwback 1922: Emily Post, Etiquette, Tips
Under 'Country House Hospitality' Emily explains tipping practices as a house-guest
Emily Post’s Etiquette, 1922, Tips
In large ‘country houses’ in the 1920s, there was a whole different kind of etiquette for houseguests than we see today. Couch crashing has nothing on the stays that an individual could experience in a grand house, with staff and adventures to be had. Emily Post very much lived in a world where she and her cohorts, whether they were young, middle-aged, or in their elder years would frequently travel and visit and stay for a while with friends in their various abodes. Sounds dreamy (and better for the back than the couch!) When it came to these stays there were expectations around how you participated in the household. In her chapter Country House Hospitality, Emily lays out the details of breakfast trays and keeping guests occupied, and she also addresses the issue of tipping household staff. Let’s take a look!
*Please note that the grammar and spelling in the following excerpt follow 20th-century standards.
CHAPTER XXV
The Country House And Its Hospitality
TIPS
Pg 426-7
The “tip-roll” in a big house seems to us rather appalling, but compared with the amounts given in a big English house, ours are mere pittances. Pleasant to think that something is less expensive in our country than in Europe!
Fortunately in this country, when you dine in a friend’s house you do not “tip” the butler, nor do you tip a footman or parlor-maid who takes your card to the mistress of the house, nor when you leave a country house do you have to give more than five dollars to any one whatsoever. A lady for a week-end stay gives two or three dollars to the lady’s maid, if she went without her own, and one or two dollars to every one who waited on her. Intimate friends in a small house send tips to all the servants—perhaps only a dollar apiece, but no one is forgotten. In a very big house this is never done and only those are tipped who have served you. If you had your maid with you, you always give her a tip (about two dollars) to give the cook (often the second one) who prepared her meals and one dollar for the kitchen maid who set her table.
A gentleman scarcely ever “remembers” any of the women servants (to their chagrin) except a waitress, and tips only the butler and the valet, and sometimes the chauffeur. The least he can offer any of the men-servants is two dollars and the most ever is five. No woman gets as much as that, for such short service.
In a few houses the tipping system is abolished, and in every guest room, in a conspicuous place on the dressing-table or over the bath tub where you are sure to read it, is a sign, saying:
“Please do not offer tips to my servants. Their contract is with this special understanding, and proper arrangements have been made to meet it; you will not only create ‘a situation,’ but cause the immediate dismissal of any one who may be persuaded by you to break this rule of the house.”
The notice is signed by the host. The “arrangement” referred to is one whereby every guest means a bonus added to their wages of so much per person per day for all employees. This system is much preferred by servants for two reasons. First, self-respecting ones dislike the demeaning effect of a tip (an occasional few won’t take them). Secondly, they can absolutely count that so many visitors will bring them precisely such an amount.
While it’s a very different angle and experience of it, it’s interesting to hear in Emily’s advice the issues of the day around tipping. Whether it was considered respectable for certain professions to even accept a tip comes into play, as Emily tells us some household staff would refuse your offer. Emily’s sample note to guests - which we found very heavy-handed compared to some sample notes we’ve recommended in the 21st century - suggests that it’s important to know that the issue of extra compensation for extra work is taken care of. People in the 1920s who were visiting houses were likely aware of the custom of tipping household staff, and the note suggests that these folks might need reassurance that the issue is handled via an arrangement.
In some ways, it reminds us of the signs we see occasionally at restaurants and cafes where the staff makes a full wage and tips are not accepted. (Red Hen bakery in Vermont does this - they let you know via a little sign that the workers are well compensated and tipping is not necessary. Red Hen takes it a step further to let you know that if you insist on tipping, your tip will be donated to XYZ charities.)
We hope you’ve enjoyed this throwback. Tipping is often a hot-button etiquette topic, and we’d love to hear your thoughts on where tipping stands in America today. Are you comfortable with it? Do you think it needs to change? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. We’ve opened the comment thread for this article to all.
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Certainly an interesting bit of etiquette. Thanks for sharing ♥
Love these bits of etiquette history!