Etiquette Throwback: Informal Greetings & The Cut Direct - Emily Post Etiquette, 1922
Dive into the etiquette of bygone eras to see what's changed and what remains the same with our Etiquette Throwback articles.
GREETINGS
Acknowledging each other with a greeting is a small but very very important part of how we interact. A greeting ignored (whether intentional or unintentional) is instantly an awkward moment. Any polite person is going to do their best to acknowledge those who greet them. Choosing to ignore a greeting is rude, and sends a direct message. In Emily’s day, it was called the “cut direct”. Today’s Thursday article is going to step back in time for a look at two sections of Emily Post’s Etiquette, In Society, In Business, In Politics and At Home: Informal Greetings and The ‘Cut Direct’.
*Please note that the spelling and grammar in the quotes below are consistent with 1922 practices.
INFORMAL GREETINGS
ETIQUETTE, 1922
Informal greetings are almost as limited as formal, but not quite; for besides saying “How do you do?” you can say “Good morning” and on occasions “How are you?” or “Good evening.”
On very informal occasions, it is the present fashion to greet an intimate friend with “Hello!” This seemingly vulgar salutation is made acceptable by the tone in which it is said. To shout “Hullow!” is vulgar, but “Hello, Mary” or “How ’do John,” each spoken in an ordinary tone of voice, sound much the same. But remember that the “Hello” is spoken, not called out, and never used except between intimate friends who call each other by the first name.
There are only two forms of farewell: “Good-by” and “Good night.” Never say “Au revoir” unless you have been talking French, or are speaking to a French person. Never interlard your conversation with foreign words or phrases when you can possibly translate them into English; and the occasions when our mother tongue will not serve are extremely rare.
Very often in place of the over-worn “How do you do,” perhaps more often than not, people skip the words of actual greeting and plunge instead into conversation: “Why, Mary! When did you get back?” or “What is the news with you?” or “What have you been doing lately?” The weather, too, fills in with equal faithfulness. “Isn’t it a heavenly day!” or “Horrid weather, isn’t it?” It would seem that the variability of the weather was purposely devised to furnish mankind with unfailing material for conversation.
In bidding good-by to a new acquaintance with whom you have been talking, you shake hands and say, “Good-by. I am very glad to have met you.” To one who has been especially interesting, or who is somewhat of a personage you say: “It has been a great pleasure to meet you.” The other answers: “Thank you.”
THE “CUT DIRECT”
ETIQUETTE, 1922
For one person to look directly at another and not acknowledge the other’s bow is such a breach of civility that only an unforgivable misdemeanor can warrant the rebuke. Nor without the gravest cause may a lady “cut” a gentleman. But there are no circumstances under which a gentleman may “cut” any woman who, even by courtesy, can be called a lady.
On the other hand, one must not confuse absent-mindedness, or a forgetful memory with an intentional “cut.” Anyone who is preoccupied is apt to pass others without being aware of them, and without the least want of friendly regard. Others who have bad memories forget even those by whom they were much attracted. This does not excuse the bad memory, but it explains the seeming rudeness.
A “cut” is very different. It is a direct stare of blank refusal, and is not only insulting to its victim but embarrassing to every witness. Happily it is practically unknown in polite society.
We often say in our business etiquette classes “the how matters” (how you say or do something matters as much as what you say or do.) Emily’s 1922 take on the right and wrong ways to say the informal “Hello” really paints the picture of how the “how” mattered back then. And we can’t help but love her pondering of the weather being invented simply to provide safe conversation regularly. Emily also highlights how to move between levels of formality which helps to make her work more approachable. Describing the formal “How do you do” as “over-worn” is a signal from the start of her career in etiquette that Emily’s position was that of observing how Americans behave, not necessarily dictating it.
In “The ‘Cut direct’” we have an example of Emily fleshing out a decidedly rude behavior, and the ways in which we might choose not to be so offended by it because after all, we are all human and capable of error.
While the words may have changed slightly in our casual greetings today, the sentiments of both of these 1922 excerpts still ring true.
Up next is the Saturday Sip with your etiquette tip, recipe from the Emily Post Cookbooks (1951), and an inspirational Emily Post quote to kick your weekend off! Keep an eye out for it!