Episode 513 - On Long Letters
Your Awesome Etiquette podcast episode for the week. Plus your weekly etiquette challenge, the Monday joke, and an etiquette extra on magic word magic.
On today’s show, we take your questions on graduation gifts for a son’s girlfriend, how long or short to make a letter or card, and attending BIPOC and LGBTQ events as a straight white person. For Community Members, your question of the week is about rescheduling a baby shower. Plus, your etiquette salute and a postscript segment on funerals and bereavement are from Emily’s biography by Laura Claridge.
Etiquette Extra - Magic Word Usage
New Study: This Polite Phrase May Soon Be a Thing of the Past is the provocative beginning of a new article By Charlotte Hilton Andersen presented in Readers Digest. Hilton Anderson presents shocking data about the use and non-use of magic words - like those in our recent weekly etiquette challenges. If, like us, you have been thinking about how and why you use these words, then you must sit down for this. While we don’t agree with all of the conclusions drawn, there is no doubt this data and the write-up provide a rich and challenging new angle to consider when we think about the genuinely polite use of magic words.
New research published in Social Psychology Quarterly found that people use the word “please” when making a request a dismal 7% of the time. Yes, you read that right. Even more interesting: These findings were about the same across age, gender and social status.
“We definitely were surprised by the results—everyone was,” says Tanya Stivers, PhD, a professor of sociology at UCLA and one of the authors of the 2024 study. “Having such a low number feels counterintuitive.” So what’s the deal with the magic word?
TEST YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS With the first-ever Emily Post trivia game, Mind Your Manners! based on etiquette from Emily Post’s Etiquette, The Centennial edition. The game and the book are available signed via Bridgeside Books. Get yours today!
Weekly Etiquette Challenge
This week, we would challenge you to reach out to a friend who has often been the initiator of invitations and catch-up calls to you. It can be easy when one friend is great at hosting or keeping communication alive to get into a groove where they are always inviting or reaching out. However, from an etiquette perspective, social relationships should be reciprocal. Think about your friendships and family relationships and who does the outreach. If the answer is “They do.” either pick up the phone and initiate a catch-up call or invite somebody over or even out for a walk.
We hope this week finds you rested and refreshed or pleasantly tired after a fun holiday weekend. Summer is flying by, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying the fireflies and grass between your toes.
Until Thursday, stay cool, everyone. 😎
All the best,
Lizzie and Dan
Happy-Monday Joke
"When two people who are vegan get in an argument,"
"is it still called a beef?"